Merriam-Webster defines law as the following: a binding custom or practice of a community: a rule of conduct or action prescribed or formally recognized as binding or enforced by a controlling authority.
Laws are passed to keep our cities, counties, and country, safe. They protect us from each other. Imagine if they didn’t.
The majority of American citizens are astutely aware of what will get them in trouble, and what won’t. Most of it is common sense. But beware! All states have certain laws even the most knowledgeable attorney may not be aware of, especially in the South.
For instance. In Alabama, bear wrestling matches are prohibited, but incestuous marriages are ok. And don’t even think about putting an ice cream cone in your back pocket unless you want to get cuffed. Since Alabama is the buckle on the bible belt, and religion is taken quite serious, at some point it became necessary to prohibit the wearing of fake mustaches in church when they provoke laughter.
In Georgia, all sex toys are banned, though it’s doubtful a swat team will raid anyone’s home in search thereof. And for heaven’s sake, do not keep a Donkey in your bath tub. In Georgia, as opposed to Alabama, it’s ok to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket, just not on Sundays.
In their infinite wisdom, Florida banned all computers and cell phones from internet cafes. Think about this. Times up. Unmarried women cannot skydive on Sunday, and if you’re in your bathing suit, never sing. To those who find porcupines appealing, first of all, you’re quite weird, and secondly, it’s illegal to have sex with one. Why the need for that law? Hmm… Lastly, if you simply must have sex with a real human while in the Sunshine State, you must limit your bedroom activities to the missionary position.
If you are an otherwise decent guy living in Mississippi who just happens to have an enormous libido, better strap it down when you’re going out. Even the slightest display of public arousal can put you in cuffs. If a mother has two illegitimate children she can go to jail for a month. While Cattle rustling is still punishable by hanging, not to worry, there are plenty of grocery stores.
In Louisiana, fake wrestling matches are prohibited. Of course, fake wrestlers claim what they do is real. It’s a thin line. Urinating in the city’s water supply will get you 10. One must gargle only in the privacy of their own home, and one must never steal another man’s alligator. If you make a promise to someone you can’t keep it could cost you a year in jail.
Now you know. Whether any of these laws would be enforced is an entirely different question, but still, they are on the books so they could be if you happen to catch the wrong cop on the wrong day.